As a woman in her fifties, I’ve had a long relationship with Breast Cancer, life lessons and my boobs.
First, as a wife and mom/mum to 3-amazing teens/adults: my breasts were intrinsic to the many phases of motherhood. If my kids read this, I can see mortified faces, “Mu-u-um! Embarrassing.” Smiling smugly, from such an easy victory, I’ll continue.
Secondly, the spectre of Breast Cancer has been a persistent if unreliable usher since childhood. On my paternal side, my Grandma Rose had one of London's first successful double mastectomy operations. Yet, as a family, we never spoke of it. The adult whispering wasn't for children’s ears. In the shadows a secret was lurking, beneath high-necked dresses, I sought out the truth snooping on her as she disrobed. I’d spy under her sleeve armholes, partially visible were the red embroidery of scar tissue across her thoracic region. (A design reminiscent of Queen Boadicea’s battle dress.)
As I aged, so, did my experience of Breast Cancer. At 12, a friend’s mother died at a youthful 37, soon after being diagnosed; leaving the father to raise 2 girls, one on the cusp of puberty. In 1984 on the silver screen, Debra Winger's character in Terms of Endearment was a mother and daughter whose heart-felt hopes for survival eluded the audience. Later, in my 20s, a cousin and double mastectomy survivor, verbalized feelings of otherness, and an ostracization of sorts in her marriage, and with her adult children, as she faced an evolving identity. I wept with her for the grief that reached beyond physiology, an aftermath of unexpected losses. I’m sad we missed a tribute to Grandma Rosie’s courage and survival, while she was alive.
Thankfully in 2023, we have greater awareness and more screenings with better medical outcomes. With human perseverance, the death sentence has been transformed into increasingly more stories of survival. On 12th October 2023, Estee Lauder’s Tech Day of Pink (TDoP), honours an ongoing commitment to end Breast Cancer. Finally, may it be so. Until that time, I pray that surviving grandmothers, mothers, and friends will have the courage to speak with their families and that future generations may celebrate their bravery.
Xenith supports TDoP, with donations and an event, a treasure hunt in Islington. I'm so excited for this one! Stay tuned for more details, and if you can give, please do; pay tribute to a loved one. https://give.bcrf.org/XenithTHoP2023